I can't live like this. Nobody threatens my woman! Harriette Winslow: Carl I am not a weak, wimpy woman whose afraida to speak her mind. Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Steve Urkel: Oh, Gosh golly, Jeepers Creepers. Urkelbot: [Kojack Impression] Who loves ya, baby! Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? . Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. Why can't we share? So, I figured if I doubled the temperature, I could cook it in half the time. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Chuck is twice the man Raoul is. Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No! [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Harriette: This feud between you and Nick is getting out of control. Heapingly, overflowingly, full! Harriette Winslow: Honey, that's not true. I want to know why my instructions were not followed. You refuse to go out with me for the last decade! Laura: Where did you get the money for this? Steve Urkel: And lose that wonderful ocean flavor? Steve Urkel: I don't have to take this! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, so is Urkelbot! "Will you marry me for just one night?" 7. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: O.k., but I'm not Home. You don't want to get fried. Doo da doo da. [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to Carl] Worse. The man was open all day! Addeddate 2019-09-04 04:56:23 Identifier steveurkel_201909 Scanner Internet Archive HTML5 Uploader 1.6.4. plus-circle Add Review. Eddie Winslow: [at the frat party] Steve, why are you wearing a toga? This isn't my grandmother. Steve Urkel: Loving you is like trying to touch a star. Harriette Winslow, Carl Otis Winslow, Laura Lee Winslow, Rachel Crawford, Estelle 'Mother' Winslow, Judy Winslow, Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [in the rap video] We are a family, we share all we got and that's easy to see, cuz we are a family! Who does these things? Myra Monkhouse: Eddie, Waldo? But I recognized him right away. We'll start with a common Korean phrase. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Why? Harriette Winslow: Yeah. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How'd that happen? Get up and get your own pie! Judy Winslow: Mom, when's dinner? Carl Otis Winslow: [fishing for the catch of a party Eddie wants to go to] Are his parents going to be there? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: No. [removes Carl's napkin from his shirt and tosses it on the coffee table]. [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! [Turns and squirts filling on Carl's shirt]. Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. Laura: By being born first. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: DAN DRUFF? Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Harriette Winslow: Carl, you snuck into my card box and gave me a card that I already have. You have the right to have an attorney present. Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. [after Carl as defeated Turbo with ease, Harriette runs up to him with her purse]. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. "I have a pen, you have a phone number. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [is chased and hides behind a jock] Hold me back, hold me back. Gun, Carl. Steve Urkel: [to Carl] They actually give this guy bullets? Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! "Family Matters Quotes." And believe you me, I know what being different is all about. Carl: Well, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you in front of a guy named Weasel. I realize the reason you don't love me is because I'm weak. They help move along our sentences. And since no one will play with me, I have to say so myself. [Pulls him into a hug]. Steve began working on more elaborate inventions, and in "Little Big Guy" he had a new idea. Carl: What? I can almost see what you had for lunch! [the oven explodes from the kitchen and Waldo emerges], Waldo Geraldo Faldo: I think we're gonna need a new stove and a floor to put it on. Carl Otis Winslow: Oh, well how did that happen? Steve Urkel: You said, "Get a life, Steve", A week ago you would have said, "Get a life, TURBONERD". I wouldn't know what to charge. Ms. Steuben: Steve, it's not a good sign when you have to give your bread a pep talk. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No. And I'm sorry. If I remember correctly, the safest place to be during a nuclear explosion is in a reinforced basement. Laura: I mean it, Waldo. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll show him. Bazooms! Steven Quincy Urkel: Oh, put a cork in it, Missy! In fact, I'm grounded. Steve Urkel: Yes! Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? Web. Steve Urkel: Oh great! Let's call it recycling. I was not abrasive. You think it's cool to come to a prty with a mini bar in your coat. Sign up | Log in An . Steve Urkel: I can't believe this! Stefan Urkelle: Oh no, I didn't shut off the machine on time. Oh, gentle Romeo, if thou doth love, pronounce it faithfully. Rachel Crawford: When the paramedics got there, they thought SIXTY-SEVEN people had died! Harriette Winslow: Abrasive? Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Ken: You make me wanna puke! Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker. Harriette Winslow: Carl Otis Winslow, I'm ashamed of you. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: But you can't fire Waldo, he's our friend. No. He is portrayed by Jaleel White. Ms. Steuben: Uh, excuse us just a minute. No, you're not invited. He finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago and never asked me for a penny. Laura: Steve, I know it's a lot to ask, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd tutor Todd. Muskrat Time! Everyone would think that Laura is in love with Steve Urkel and no one would vote for her. Rise! Steve Urkel: I will not be bullied! But you'll never play in this game again. With Squeeze I'm not safe nowhere. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Steve Urkel: I'll settle for a toenail clipping! Lt. Murtaugh: No, because I brought him back. The people that did this to us are teaching the same GARBAGE to their kids. Why would anybody want to kill her? [Steve is eating frozen fish sticks out of the box]. Steven Quincy Urkel (generally known as Steve Urkel or just simply Urkel) is a fictional character on the ABC/CBS sitcom, Family Matters, who was portrayed by Jaleel White. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. My, what strong arms. [Steve thinks Rachel is in love with him, but she is really in love with another man named Steve]. Steve Urkel: I have a lot of personal experience in first aid. It's to another restaurant. Why are you guys dressed like that? Mango? I felt like I was one with the Bee-Oh-Sphere. Steve, what happened? YOU'RE WHERE? Sure, it may cover your hiney, but if you make a habit of it, you've got a serious problem. Laura Lee Winslow: First you better sprout a chest. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh, cool. 7. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. "Clean up your room, Edward." Dec 25, 2011 - Explore Nadia Hussein's board "Steve Urkel", followed by 259 people on Pinterest. Laura Lee Winslow: It was just a little practical joke. It can't explode or anything? Stefan Urkelle: Wake me, shake me, break me, but baby, don't forsake me. They're disgusting. Played by Jaleel White, Urkel joined "Family Matters" at the end of its first season, which one of his castmates says was a production decision that changed everything. Chuck is twice the man, Raoul is. Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? [Eddie has just realized his mistake in standing his father for the chance to go out on his date with a girl that he likes]. Why, you teach us things about life! Can you believe that? Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. Waldo: But, why ya gonna do that, Willie? During the class picture, you don't have to sit with the girls in the front row and hold up the class sign. Rachel Crawford: Honey, how long were you in there? Verbs are our friends. Oh, yes it is! [Waldo nods as Eddie goes to the last one]. Carl: I'll tell you what's sad Harriette, I've watched two full hours of the "Bridges Of Madison County" and Clint didn't blow up one bridge! Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. Steve Urkel: Oh, positive. Steve Urkel: Oh, well, no problem-o. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Bye. The next minute rump roast! Think of the possibilities.". Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You all right, Mr.W, [he teaches Carl how to handshake in his neighborhood. Laura: We're not going anywhere until the ground rules are straight. Steve Urkel: Actually, it was my dad who said that. Carl Otis Winslow: How about if I convince Laura to go out on a date with you. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! Pick a general observation about her personality. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Steve, how did you get so good at checkers? Laura: [as Steve and Laura walk in, the guests gasp again] Steve, everyone gasped. Jaleel White, the actor best known for playing Steve Urkel on the 1990s sitcom Family Matters, has launched his own cannabis brand - on the day enthusiasts around the globe enjoy a toke. This semester we're Steven, you'd better get going. When my dad said you fixed me up with Laura; why, I thought I'd wet my pants! Oh, good. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny. So, if I tell him I don't remember him, I'll look like a jerk and I still won't remember him. Steve Urkel: Well, because it's different. Laura Lee Winslow: Then she demanded her money back when she found out that she modeled ladies underwear. Weasel: Yeah chill. I'm finished with this witness, your honor! Carl: I don't have to take this, I'm going home! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, when are we leaving? You should've seen the look on his face when he saw five officers surrounded my car and said Surprise! Harriette Winslow: And you think I'm FAT? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Yeah, I went to sleep and Stevil made a guest appearance. When you make a mistake, fess up to it. Harriette Winslow: Carl Winslow, this is the most insensitive, unromantic gift I have ever received. 12. r/Unexpected. Laura: Well, then not even in your dreams. And I know that baseball card meant a lot to you. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. And, I just wanted to wish you good luck. I'll teach you. Carl Otis Winslow: Well I talked to your boy Squeeze and he won't be bothering you for a long time. Steve Urkel: Well, Laura, do you realize what you're asking? He breaks something a beaker along the way]. Myra Monkhouse: Mr.Winslow, I am very sorry. Let's keep this one! [splashes Waldo with the spiked punch]. Steve Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm? He held operations in Chicago. Then he unfolds it] Well Tell me again. Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: [nervous laughter] Great Wedding, huh dad. Harriette: Well, tell him you don't remember him. Dexter Thornhill: [after being found guilty at Urkel's trial] Darn you Urkel, Darn you to Heck! Laura: [as Steve walks he sobs and cries on Laura's shoulder] What's the matter baby, did you eat some bad cheese again? Steve Urkel: Laura? Boyd Higgins: Name's Boyd Higgins, but ym friends call me Buck! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Don't you worry, I'll work on him. Steve Urkel: What? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But you humilate me everyday. Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. I'm going to give you an 'A'. Rachel Crawford: She keeled over leading a game of Simon says! Welcome to Leroy's! Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. Their own version of the 3 R's? I'm in big trouble! Would you reward me with a kiss? Steve Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Should I be getting some Handi-Wipes? Well, name a couple. Then Urkel shows up with Eddie and Carl and the crowd cheers for him]. Mont gio sam eea!". Would you like that? Uh, we're, uh, playin' hide and seek! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [brings her in to meet the Winslows] Now don't worry, they don't bite, and even if they do they've had their shots. Cool. Would you care to heal them with a kiss? Robber: [holding up the convenience store where Carl, Steve, and Urkelbot are undercover, threatening Carl with a gun] You! And we practiced for six minutes! He created a machine that could cause items to grow in size. Do these guys have game? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Harriette, there is a child outside digging up your azaleas. It meant a lot to me. Introducing yourself to someone new is always scary, whether you're on an app or in person, since the possibility of rejection is part of the deal. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I'm flat broke, dad. Laura Lee Winslow: Sure. In Season 1 he was a supporting character and made his first appearance as a background character in Rachel's First Date and had his first major role in "Laura's First Date", however as of Season 2 he was officially considered a main character . Wha? Carl Otis Winslow: Come on, Harriette! Her temperature shot up and she tossed more cookies than the Keebler elf. Where do I sign? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Laura] Sugar, I realize you're having a hard time, but you've got to stand up for whatever you believe in, or things will never change. You have the right to remain silent. Laura Lee Winslow: Aunt Rachel, take little Richie, the Murphy twins are giving each other haircuts in the backyard! "Tomorrow Dad!". I was kickin' butt. At a party, once, he clamped cables to his earlobes and jump-started a Volkswagen. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Allison, is that true? Steve Urkel: [Runs across the couch to get away] Fine, fine, fine! Carl Otis Winslow: Look at it again, Harriette. Harriette Winslow: And you meant every word 8 years ago. Harriette: What's goin' on down here and why do I smell cinnamon flavored smoke? Laura: Let me tell you something. Did I do that? Now let me get this straight, you dented the car. Refresh my memory. Midway through the first season, the show introduced the Winslows' nerdy neighbor Steve Urkel (Jaleel White), who quickly became its breakout character and eventually the show's main character. 1 The Shrink Machine Was Made To Make The Winslows Plenty Of Money. Waldo, you may go now. Steve Urkel: All right! Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! Laura: [Long pause] Your looks. Carl Otis Winslow: Yeah. Carl: [Urkel Voice] In the meantime, I have to break the news to Harriette. Steve Urkel: King me. Laura Lee Winslow: No surprise visits from Steve Urkel. Now can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't ground you for the rest of your life. Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Well I for one am appalled. Steve Urkel: I can't! Pass the salt, Edward. Did you know an African American helped design the blueprint for Washington, D.C.? That was a love letter to Eddie Winslow from Eddie Winslow. Steve Urkel: Well, isn't that just a FIIIINE kettle of fish? Eddie, your father left you three messages for you and you never called him back. Check it out: Urkelbot: [Dirty Harry Impression] Go ahead, punk! Carl Otis Winslow: He and Steve got busted for gambling. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. He interruped my phone call meant for Laura. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What's your aunt's name, who'd want to kill her, and who do you like in the World Series? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: From my stay away fund- every year all my relatives send me money and hope that I won't visit them. I'm telling you straight out, I hate this. Steve Urkel: I've fallen and I can't get up! [Steve is in the kitchen recovering from Laura and her sock stuffed b*obs. Carl Otis Winslow: Yep, Benjamin Banneker. Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? Myra Monkhouse: No, I came to visit my Aunt Monica, she's the Reverend Mother here, now why on earth would I join a convent? Cassie Lynn: But, it's a lie! [Eddie sits down and Carl grabs his hair]. Just as I thought. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [about Harriette's gingerbread house] This is a work of art. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: It was Jan Matzeliger, in 1883. Steve Urkel: Boyd whipped Eddie. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, cash is so impersonal. Stefan Urquelle. No! Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to convince his boss that using Urkelbot is a bad idea] But Sir, you and I have been to the Police Academy. Laura: Yeah, every time I used the bug spray. You think she'll really kiss Steve? Our limo awaits. Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. You had an accident. [Comes in the lving room with Mother Winslow as Eddie is taking his frustrations out on his sack of dirty laundry because Carl has just taken Waldo to the Chicago Bulls game instead of him]. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh that's sweet, what did he say? Whoa, I'm being pushed back in! Then, you broke my car, and it cost me every cent I got to fix it and rent this "delightful" room here at the "Fleabag Inn". Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? You think I'm fat. You've got twenty-four hours to drop out of the race or we publish the picture. No phones. I wanna read it to my mom. Or are they just lame? A bee to a blossom. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. Harriette Winslow: And you agree with me? For that matter why isn't everybody? Was I about to take the Big Sleep? Didn't you? Curtis: I know you're disappointed. I've been there a 100 times, but this time was different. Rachel Crawford: Steve? Steve Urkel: Oh, I am so glad you said that! Cop: You two are going to juvenile hall until your parents pick you up.
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